When I Was Surrounded, Yet Felt Alone
Sometimes life looks full on the outside — friends, family, college, notifications buzzing. And still, something feels off. That was me. I had people. But I felt… invisible.
No one asked if I was okay. No one noticed I wasn’t. And that’s when I understood something important — I have realized that I will not hide from it anymore.
What is Loneliness?
Before we can move forward with our emotions, we need to know what much of the type of loneliness we are facing. There are four distinct types of loneliness, each impacting us differently:
1. Social Loneliness
No people to talk to, hang out with, or share small talk with. You feel like no one even notices your silence. Even a small “How are you?” feels like too much to hope for. It’s not just quiet outside — it’s quiet inside too.
2. Emotional Loneliness
People are around… but you can’t open your heart to any of them. You smile, but no one sees what’s behind it.
You crave a conversation where you can just be real. This loneliness feels the deepest — and the hardest to explain.
3. Situational Loneliness
After a breakup, moving cities, job loss — it hits like a wave. The place has changed, the people have changed — and so have you.
Everything feels unfamiliar, even your own reflection. You’re not just adjusting to the world — you’re adjusting to yourself.
4. Chronic Loneliness
The one that stays — silently, heavily — for weeks or months. You’ve carried it for so long, it feels normal now.
Even on good days, a part of you still feels alone. You stop expecting connection — and that’s the scariest part.
For me? It was emotional loneliness. I had people. But no real connection. Understanding this was my first step to healing.
Learning to Be Comfortable With Myself
When I felt most distant from others, I realised something: I was disconnected from myself. I kept running — through screens, reels, shows, distractions. But no matter what I did, that hollowness stayed.
So I tried something new: I just sat with myself. Quietly. Awkwardly. These tiny steps taught me how to cope with being alone in a more peaceful way.
What Helped Me Slowly Reconnect:
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5-minute meditation (no fancy rules)
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Journaling anything that came to mind
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Taking Quiet Walks, Phone Set Aside – Just Me and the Sky
Initially, those moments felt strange and uneasy. Then, when I simply started to walk slowly and quietly—something shifted. I stopped fighting my loneliness — And started understanding it.
It’s Not About More People, But Deeper Bonds
Back then, I used to think — maybe I need more friends. But that didn’t work.
What I really needed?
A few real connections. Not more names in my contact list. So I tried something simple:
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Messaged an old friend — ended up chatting for hours
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Spoke up in my family WhatsApp group
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Told a close friend: “Hey… I’ve been feeling off lately”
And something beautiful happened — When you open your heart, you can also open the hearts of others.
Is Social Media Adding To The Problem?
I’m not going to lie — When I wanted to feel less lonely, I instinctively opened Instagram. And then?
I felt worse.
All those happy photos, perfect couples, career updates —It felt like everyone was living, while I was… stuck. Researchers have created a clear relationship between social media and loneliness, and unhealthy comparison
While it isn’t helpful, it is unsurprising that it is a temptation — particularly given the research around social media and loneliness. Researchers have consistently noted that excessive social media use can worsen loneliness for a variety of reasons, most specifically with the temptation to continually compare yourself to others.
This is why limiting social media use to limit screen time, or curating your feed isn’t just digital hygiene — it’s self-care. That was when I knew: This place isn’t for me. It’s hurting me. So I tried a digital detox:
My Small But Powerful Steps:
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1-week break from social media
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Unfollowed accounts that triggered insecurity
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Followed pages that inspired growth and calm
And it worked. My mind felt lighter. I started seeing real life again — not just the filtered version.
A Simple Routine Changed Everything
When you feel lonely for too long, days start to blur. So I built a soft routine — not strict, just grounding.
My Daily Rhythm Looked Like:
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Drinking water right after waking
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Stretching or stepping outside for air
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Picking one small task after breakfast
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Evening me-time: writing, sketching, or quiet balcony tea
I also started focusing on what my body needed:
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I prioritized sleep, kept my phone away at night
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Started eating better — fewer chips, more fruits and real food
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Did light exercises — even 10-minute walks count
According to studies, a healthy lifestyle can directly improve emotional well-being. And it’s true — when your body feels good, your mind doesn’t sink as easily.
These tiny acts gave me something priceless: A sense of control. A flow. A rhythm. When life has rhythm, loneliness doesn’t feel so powerful anymore.
Hobbies Aren’t Just Timepass – They’re Medicine
One day, I found an old diary filled with sketches. And something inside me lit up. I picked up the pencil again. And slowly…
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My mind slowed down
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My thoughts softened
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My heart felt full
Science backs it too — doing something creative, like art or music, helps you process emotions. Even visiting nature — taking a slow walk among trees, feeling the sun or watching the sky — can change things.
Then, when I added a little bit of mindfulness or meditation — even just five minutes of deep breathing or silent journaling — I felt calmed. Mental health professionals tell us that mindfulness helps us get to a place of acceptance relating to things like loneliness, and that acceptance ends the struggle – the not okay – part of the experience.
And that acceptance itself becomes healing.
Try building a small mindful ritual. Our article on The Art of Self-Love might help.
Why Hobbies Matter When You’re Lonely:
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They shift your focus inward
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They connect you to joy again
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They help you find people who share your interests
Even small joys — dancing, baking, gardening — They all say one thing: “You matter.”
When It’s Too Much – Please, Ask for Help
I didn’t want to admit it at first. “I need therapy.” Just saying those words felt scary.
Would people judge me?
Was I weak?
But the truth is — therapy didn’t make me weaker. It made me whole again.
Loneliness and emotional/mental health are interwoven – long-term loneliness can cause poor relationships, affect mood, sleep, and self-esteem.
What Therapy Gave Me:
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A safe space to talk
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Tools to track and handle my thoughts
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Someone who truly listened — no fixing, no judging
If your loneliness feels heavy and dark, please… don’t carry it alone.
Help is not a weakness. It’s courage in action.
And , if you think therapy is too much to manage right now, consider joining a support group (whether it’s online or in-person) – it’s helpful. Sometimes just knowing others are dealing with similar challenges helps take the loneliness out of your struggle and makes it feel more real.
Loneliness Isn’t Your Enemy
It took me time to learn this. But now I know — Loneliness isn’t some monster to run from. It’s a message. It’s your heart saying, “Please come back to me.”
And now?
I still spend time alone sometimes — But I’m not lonely anymore. Because now I:
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Check in with myself daily
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Build deep, slow friendships
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Create joy through routine and hobbies
A Note From My Heart to Yours
So, let me ask you… When’s the last time you took a moment to really check-in with you?
Even slowly. Even gently.
Have you faced loneliness too?
What helped you through it?
Or are you still figuring it out?
Share your story below. Maybe your words will be the reason someone else feels a little less alone today. And if you just want to say “hi” — that’s okay too.
If you feel anxious in relationships too, read How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship
Let’s stay connected.
Disclaimer:
This is just my personal experience, I am not giving medical advice. If you feel that loneliness, please speak to a professional.
