When I Was Surrounded, Yet Felt Alone
Sometimes life looks full on the outside — friends, family, college, notifications buzzing. And still, something feels off.
That was me. I had people. But I felt… invisible.
No one asked if I was okay. No one noticed I wasn’t.
And that’s when I understood something important —
Being lonely doesn’t mean being alone.
You can be in a crowd and still feel painfully isolated.
I decided I wouldn’t run from that feeling anymore.
I’d sit with it. Understand it. Heal it.
What Is Loneliness, Really?
To understand how to deal with loneliness, you first need to know what kind you’re actually feeling.
Not all loneliness feels the same. To truly deal with it, we first need to understand what kind we’re facing. There are 4 main types of loneliness that affect us in different ways:
1. Social Loneliness
No people to talk to, hang out with, or share small talk with. You feel like no one even notices your silence.
Even a small “How are you?” feels like too much to hope for. It’s not just quiet outside — it’s quiet inside too.
2. Emotional Loneliness
People are around… but you can’t open your heart to any of them. You smile, but no one sees what’s behind it.
You crave a conversation where you can just be real. This loneliness feels the deepest — and the hardest to explain.
3. Situational Loneliness
After a breakup, moving cities, job loss — it hits like a wave. The place has changed, the people have changed — and so have you.
Everything feels unfamiliar, even your own reflection. You’re not just adjusting to the world — you’re adjusting to yourself.
4. Chronic Loneliness
The one that stays — silently, heavily — for weeks or months. You’ve carried it for so long, it feels normal now.
Even on good days, a part of you still feels alone. You stop expecting connection — and that’s the scariest part.
For me? It was emotional loneliness. I had people. But no real connection. Understanding this was my first step to healing.
Learning to Be Comfortable With Myself
When I felt most distant from others, I realised something:
I was disconnected from myself.
I kept running — through screens, reels, shows, distractions.
But no matter what I did, that hollowness stayed.
So I tried something new:
I just sat with myself. Quietly. Awkwardly. These tiny steps taught me how to cope with being alone in a more peaceful way.
What Helped Me Slowly Reconnect:
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5-minute meditation (no fancy rules)
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Journaling anything that came to mind
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Silent walks, no phone, just me and the sky
At first, it was uncomfortable.
But then, something shifted.
I stopped fighting my loneliness —
And started understanding it.
It’s Not About More People, But Deeper Bonds
Back then, I used to think — maybe I need more friends.
But that didn’t work.
What I really needed?
A few real connections. Not more names in my contact list.
So I tried something simple:
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Messaged an old friend — ended up chatting for hours
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Spoke up in my family WhatsApp group
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Told a close friend: “Hey… I’ve been feeling off lately”
And something beautiful happened —
When you open your heart, people start opening theirs too.
Is Social Media Making You Feel Worse?
Let me be honest — Whenever I felt lonely, I opened Instagram.
And then?
I felt worse.
All those happy photos, perfect couples, career updates —It felt like everyone was living, while I was… stuck. Studies link social media and loneliness, especially due to unhealthy comparison
Experts also say that excessive social media use can worsen loneliness, especially when we fall into the trap of constant comparison.
That’s why limiting screen time or curating your feed isn’t just digital hygiene — it’s self-care.
That’s when I knew: This space isn’t helping me. It’s hurting me. So I tried a digital detox:
My Small But Powerful Steps:
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1-week break from social media
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Unfollowed accounts that triggered insecurity
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Followed pages that inspired growth and calm
And it worked.
My mind felt lighter.
I started seeing real life again — not just the filtered version.
A Simple Routine Changed Everything
When you feel lonely for too long, days start to blur. So I built a soft routine — not strict, just grounding.
My Daily Rhythm Looked Like:
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Drinking water right after waking
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Stretching or stepping outside for air
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Picking one small task after breakfast
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Evening me-time: writing, sketching, or quiet balcony tea
I also started focusing on what my body needed:
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I prioritized sleep, kept my phone away at night
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Started eating better — fewer chips, more fruits and real food
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Did light exercises — even 10-minute walks count
According to studies, a healthy lifestyle can directly improve emotional well-being.
And it’s true — when your body feels good, your mind doesn’t sink as easily.
These tiny acts gave me something priceless: A sense of control. A flow. A rhythm. When life has rhythm, loneliness doesn’t feel so powerful anymore.
Hobbies Aren’t Just Timepass – They’re Medicine
One day, I found an old diary filled with sketches. And something inside me lit up. I picked up the pencil again.
And slowly…
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My mind slowed down
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My thoughts softened
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My heart felt full
Science backs it too — doing something creative, like art or music, helps you process emotions.
Even spending time in nature — a quiet walk under trees, feeling the sun, watching the sky — makes a difference.
And when I added a little mindfulness, even just five minutes of deep breathing or silent journaling, I felt calmer.
According to mental health experts, mindfulness helps us accept feelings like loneliness without judgment. And that acceptance itself becomes healing.
Try building a small mindful ritual. Our article on The Art of Self-Love might help.
Why Hobbies Matter When You’re Lonely:
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They shift your focus inward
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They connect you to joy again
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They help you find people who share your interests
Even small joys — dancing, baking, gardening —
They all say one thing: “You matter.”
When It’s Too Much – Please, Ask for Help
I didn’t want to admit it at first.
“I need therapy.”
Just saying those words felt scary.
Would people judge me?
Was I weak?
But the truth is — therapy didn’t make me weaker.
It made me whole again.
Loneliness and mental health are deeply connected — long-term loneliness can affect mood, sleep, and self-esteem.
What Therapy Gave Me:
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A safe space to talk
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Tools to track and handle my thoughts
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Someone who truly listened — no fixing, no judging
If your loneliness feels heavy and dark, please… don’t carry it alone.
Help is not a weakness. It’s courage in action.
And if therapy feels like a big step right now, even joining a support group — online or offline — can help. Sometimes, knowing that others feel the same way makes your loneliness feel a little less personal — and a lot more human.
Loneliness Isn’t Your Enemy
It took me time to learn this.
But now I know —
Loneliness isn’t some monster to run from.
It’s a message.
It’s your heart saying, “Please come back to me.”
And now?
I still spend time alone sometimes —
But I’m not lonely anymore.
Because now I:
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Check in with myself daily
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Build deep, slow friendships
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Create joy through routine and hobbies
A Note From My Heart to Yours
So, let me ask you…
When was the last time you really checked in with yourself?
If you feel unsure, if your heart feels heavy — Maybe this is your sign to pause, breathe, and start again.
Even slowly. Even gently.
Have you faced loneliness too?
What helped you through it?
Or are you still figuring it out?
Share your story below.
Maybe your words will be the reason someone else feels a little less alone today. And if you just want to say “hi” — that’s okay too.
If you feel anxious in relationships too, read How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship
Let’s stay connected.
Disclaimer:
This article is based on personal experiences and reflections, not professional medical advice. If you’re struggling with intense loneliness or mental health issues, please reach out to a licensed therapist or counselor.
Everyone’s emotional journey is unique — take what resonates, and seek help when needed.Healing takes time, and there’s no shame in asking for support.
